276 Ways to Tell if You've Been on Color Guard Too Long

1.You walk on step to all music you hear.
2.You spin pencils/pens/mops/brooms/pool cues, etc.
3.You have a drawer full of guard/band t-shirts.
4.You're constantly involved in fund raisers (wanna buy a candy bar or pizza?)
5.The term attitude has lost all meaning.

6.You know where every highschool in your circuit is located.
7.You are an expert at assembling backdrops.
8.When you hear a song you've done a routine to you get estatic.
9.When you hear a song by a group you used to get estatic.
10.You've seen 7:15 in the morning many times. (Don't go there)
11.Seperate checks in a restaurant are the best thing to ever happen to you.
12.Your instructor invites you to her wedding to preform. 
13.You're considered lucky if your instructer noticed your haircut.
14.You know how to wrap your own bandages.
15.You have a flag calus on your right palm under your small finger.
16.You have a permanent rifle bruise on your left and right thumbs.
17.You have more inside jokes than any of your other friends. (also guard gossip!)
18.You can smile genuinly on command.

19.Your priorities are slightly askew. (Slightly???)
20.You have an excuse for everything. (always.)
21.You can catch anything thrown at you.
22.You find yourself telling your friends to run for chewing gum.
23.You find yourself telling your friends to run or do jumping jacks for swearing.
24.Every song becomes a possible flag routine.
25.You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
26.Finals are a positive thing.
27.Your calluses are less stressful than practice.
28.You know that "one more time" never means one more time. (Can we say "two more times?")
29.You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
30.You can change into your uniform anywhere.
31.Someone who can throw a piece of wood 40ft in the air and catch it becomes your hero.
32.You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
33.You've missed more 4th periods than you've been to.
34.You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 4.5 min.
35.You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
36.You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
37.You count all music to beats of 6 or 8.
38.You constantly watch t.v. dance shows for a good new move.
39.Watching a 1/2 time show has become more then a leisure activity.
40.Leaving your seat at 1/2 time would be considered a sin.
41.You know how many people can be crammed into a minivan,
42.Lycra-spandex has become a permanent part of your closet.
43.You have never taken a dance class but you know more terms than in the foreign language you took
44.The soles of your practice shoes have holes in them from doing to many terms.
45.You've left your house wearing things you swore you never would like hair curlers, spandex, 2 tons of makeup,etc. 
46.You've been in a wrestler room when there were no wrestlers.
47.You've been in a guys locker room when there were no guys in it.
48.Getting a sip of water is considered an act of love and kindness from your instructor.
49.You find yourself critqueing every parade you see.
50.Caravans are run like well oiled machinery.
51.You will not consider anything over $5 dinner while at a competition.
52.The bandroom becomes your home away from home.  (Sad but true)
53.You become your own pharmacist.
54.Anyone who carries fem. products becomes your best friend.
55.You know how many teenage girls you can fit in a hotel room.
56.You know how to manage 33 girls and 1 bathroom.
57.You wish they offered time/money/stress management in school.
58.You wish they offered nap time in school
59.The term battle of the sexes has been turned into battle of the bands/guards.
60.You can mock all other bands/guards quite well.
61.4 1/2 hours of sleep before a competition is considered lucky.
62.You know what jell-o arms and legs feel like.
63.You've considered dating a band/percussion member or have dated one or have gone to PROM with one.
64.Your parents know of more h.s. now than when they were in h.s.
65.Asking your parents for money has reached the extreme.
66.Having your show finished the day before your first competiton/performance is considered lucky.
67.You know nothing is ever definite.
68.There's no such thing as a "summer vacation".
69. You know the significance of LXIX. 
70.Getting 1 new uniform every 10 years is a rarity. 
71.You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first the perform at them.
72.Coming home before 4:30pm on a weekday almost never happens.
73.You've spent more money on flags than you have on your college education. 
74.You've never worked so hard for a chunk of wood w/some metal on it (trophey).
75.You never could teach your dog to fetch cause everything you throw you have to catch yourself.
76.No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook. (*sigh* sux)
77.The guy at subway knows you personally.
78.The school nurse knows you and your parents by name.
79.You know what a fulcrum is.
80.Your guard has developed its own language. 
81.You know that if you try something wierd it might just end up in your show. 
82.Your school locker is an uncharted area to you.
83.The term democracy is not in your vocabulary.
84.You try more stunts than the cheerleaders.
85.You love your instructor when you see other guards shows and uniforms.
86.You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
87.Your nails have never extended beyond your finger tips.
88.You know what's significant about June 14th (if not look at your calendar).
89.You know whether you've passed your limit or not.

90.You know how to bend any rule.
91.You've never actually watched a football game.
92.You can get any teacher to sympathize w/you and let you off for that missing assignment.  (not really.....)
93.You say "guard halt!!!! (1-2)" when you want your friends to stop.
94.You have had more pics taken of you than any of your friends.
95.Your personal best is 60 push ups in one day.
96.You can arm wrestle any band/chorus/drama/cheerleading member and win.
97.You have electrical tape in your back pack.
98.You have a screwdriver in your back pack.
99.You have hit yourself in the head w/a flag/rifle/sabre more times than you would like to think about or can think about!
100.The smell of sun screen makes you think of band camp. 

101.You walk in step with your guard friends.
102.You can talk about practically anything at practice and competitons no matter who's around.
103.When you hear "learn this" while you are picking up your stuff.
104.You march to the back ground music in the mall.
105.You jazz walk/run at home, school, mall, etc..
106. You do split leaps down every hall you come to.
107.Every time you find a bruise/scrape on yourself, you automatically know you got it at a guard rehearsal.
108.You've used up all the white out covering up the marks on the ceiling/wall from the rifle you WEREN'T spinnning in the house...and need more. (That's me all the way.... white toothpaste works best for the record)
109.You cheer louder than the cheerleaders at football games.
110.When you are together so much (because of practice or just getting together) that you all get your period at the same time!
111. When your instructor feels she has enough on the job training to look for a 2nd job as a hairstylist/makeup artist to supplement her income during the summer.
112.When all your "outside the guard" friends roll their eyes and whisper not again, as u talk about how cool ur show is, and how u manage to "nail" ur tosses everytime.
113.When you can drop spin and carry on a conversation, and jazz step all at the same time, with out even thinking about it.
114.When you point your toes in your sleep.
115.When you get teary eyed when you have to put your flag down so you can eat dinner. (Esp. when you are in the middle of a really good song that you are making a routine to)
116. When Colorguard is practically all you talk about!
117.When your colorguard friends are the only people you talk to.
118. When you spend 10-15 hours of your day practicing on spinning!
119.When you spend all your free time looking at band related websites, then creating one!
120. When you look at the websites of other bands in your area just to get the inside info on their show.
121. Your "out of guard" friends have heard so much about guard, they are almost pros at it!
122. When you've left more bruises on band members (especially the drumline!) than on yourself, and are proud of it!
123.Your friends notice bruises on you and you didn't even know that they were there!
124. When it becomes a game to see how many patches and buttons fit on a letter jacket
125. When you don't own any socks that don't have holes in them
126. When the only age that matters is 22.
127. When you have one giant brown grass spot in the backyard from practicing so much. hehehe
128. When stadium nachos and hot dogs are a delicacy. 
129. When you send forwards to people about colorguard.
130. When you have 4 tan lines-tee shirt, gloves, shorts, and socks.
131. When the words 'one more time' really means 15 more.
132. When kool-aid, planters cheeseballs, cheese in a can, fat free cool whip, and berry lemonade fruitopia are the official food of band camp!! 133. When you think that some of the band student teachers are HOT!!

134. When the gym/football field/band room is your second home
135. When styrofoam flats are your favorite hiding place
136. When your band instructor begins to make sense
137. When you can see yourself trying to make your make-up darker
138. When nike blush checks are a fashion statement
139. When your speed dial consists of your captain, director, and show writer
140. When you forget how to count above 8
141. You make up routines in your head to songs on the radio
142. When you have 6 different uniforms in your closet
143. When you try and guess the height of the guard by the size of the pole
144. When you have a roll of duct tape next to your bed
145. When school nachos actually taste good
146. When you have 10 silks folded in your garage
147. When the blisters on your blisters don't hurt anymore
148. When you look for flags in commercials that show bands (in The Fugative, during the parade, they show a guard. i swear!!! Also in Never Been Kissed, when they put her car on the football field, the band is playing the Simpsons... there is a guard!!!)
149. When you own a copy of every show you've ever done

150. When band music actually begins to sound good
151. When you refuse to date outside the band
152. Life? what's that?
153. When you always step off on the left foot
154. When you see the guard more than your family
155. You have 2 flags to your name... maybe even a special one you bought or got for christmas!

156. When you name your equipment
157. When the only song you have stuck in your head is your marching show from 2 yrs ago
158. When you glide step in the mall
159. When you begin to look good in show make-up
160. When your senior ring lives on your necklace
161. When you break a bone and still insist that you can march (even if on crutches)
162. When you still spend the same amount of time w/ your band-after you graduate.
163. You only go to football games to see the halftime shows
164. you find yourself switching feet to get back on-step while walking through the mall
165.When you name all your bruises.
166. When getting dressed up to go to school means wearing what you'll have wear to practice that night.
167. When riding in sections to a football game is the biggest dilemma of the day.
168. When you catch yourself spinning your pencil in Calculus class.
169. When all your teachers and classmates have seen your guard videos at least twice.
170. When your classmates roll their eyes at you for talking about the band, yet again. 
171. When everyone knows that you are in guard by the t-shirts you wear.
172. When you show up for everything at least 15 minutes early  (even parties).
173. When you wake up in the morning and put your drill charts on not thinking.
174. When you wear your hair slicked back every where you go.
175. When the people at Home Depot know you by name.
176. When vending machine food becomes gormet.
177. you have had the words "left! right! left! right!" repeatedly screamed at you and you are not in the army
178. You permanently project to the press box whether that means the top of the six foot tall basketball player in front of your head or the top of the doorway.
179. You toss your flag even when they're 50 m.p.h. winds and it's raining.
180. When you choose a college for the colorguard and winterguard directors and programs. 
181. you have hit yourself in the head so many times, not only can you not count, it doesn't even hurt any more. =)
182.when the local Friendlies is your second home, but only because you spend more time at school.
183.When you always have to walk in step eith everyone, even if they aren't in colorguard
184.When you go to see other school's football games just to see their colorguard, and who you're up against.
185.When you in your loud english class your teacher yells, "Attention" and you look forward and sit up straight and don't make eye contact with anyone. 
186.You love rainy days, because it gives you a chance to spin (your umbrella) in school (And show off too!)
187.Your unguard friends know that you're almost never available to go out
188.You jump up and down when you hear a song that a guard once did
189.Guard tape is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread
190.Guard tape fixes everything
191.When the "can i have 5 extra mins" turns into a midnight practice
192.When you find yourself dancing everywhere. (to every song except zip-pide-do-dah... hahaha)
193.When there are more holes in the school cieling where you practice then Swiss cheese.
194.When you make shirts and accessories relating to Color Guard and you have 2 sections on your guard-- AP Guard and standard!
195.When getting new members is the most exciting thing that happened to you.
196.When you have seen the same WGI or DCI tape a thousand times and still enjoy it
197.When you pick out the same things in the same tapes
198.You listen to the judges tapes more then the radio
199.When you don't think anything of bare feet in the snow
200.When the only jacket you own has the name of your guard on it. 
201.When you practice more then the band that can only play the star spangled banner
202.When you look forward to getting new gloves
203.When you love the black stain from the new gloves
204.When you are told this is so hard you really walk 5 steps
205.When stretches are your favorite part of the day.

206.When you have a song for everything that has happened
207.You know how to sleep with the your music on 10 and the bus going 60mph.
208.You take over guys bathrooms b/c the girls is too full.
209.Changing in front of guys doesn't phase you anymore
210.You have seen more skin from the same sex then the opposite
211.You can talk about "your body" with ease
212.When it all seems to be a soap opera with ups and downs. 213.When you work at a music store or at a clothing store and you have to send your manager your band schedule to schedule you around.
214.When you miss someone you saw 5 minutes ago.
215.You see the same people all day everyday.
216.The closest group you have ever been in is guard.
217.When you spend more time with the guard then your own family
218.When you have practice 5 days a week and enjoy every second.
219.You know all of your friends by their last names or a name that is completely awkward to others and they wouldn't be caught dead calling anyone that... 
220. You have been in a guys locker room when there WERE guys in it!
221.. Your friends have heard about your routine so much that they can probably get out on the field and do your routine with you!
222. You have dated every guy in the band, and are starting to wonder what life would be like if there wasn't marching band!
223. You have become so accustomed to waking up at 5 am that you do it when you don't have to. (Saturdays, Sundays, days w/ no school or marching practice.)
224. You can march your show in your sleep.
225.You say the pledge of alligience to YOUR flag. (I pledge alligance... to my guard flag... in the backyard of my house in America... and to the poll.. for which it's on.. one show flag... that costs a lot.... hopefully indestructible ... that it will move smoothly and surely for me........... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahhaahahaha)

226. Seeing how fast you can fold the floor becomes your primary form of entertainment
227.You find it easier to fall asleep in a van along with seven other girls than in your own bed
228.While your non-guard friend sleep with teddy bears and other various stuffed animals, you sleep with your flag, rifle, and/or sabre
229.If your room is covered with good luck signs.  (flags, t-shirts and stuff that your guard friends have given you.)
230.If you have gotten a black eye from doing a toss!

231.If you catch your self doing air flag while walking down the hallway or while you are sleeping! (not yet)
232.If you think you will die when the season is over.
233.When you are doing a horizontal toss and you know that it won't make it too far and it smacks you in the face.
234.You own more stretch pants and tank tops then you do regular clothes.
235.When you make a website dedicated to guard.
236.When you have prayed all season for a break before the next season, be it colorguard or winterguard, then you spend the whole thing crying, cause your muscles aren't used to resting for that long.
237.When your boyfriend has been to as many practices and games as you have!
238.When you like wearing your uniform.
239.When people ask you about your social life and you say "Oh, you mean my flag."
240.When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
241.When you can show up to practice in your pajamas and dripping wet and no one notices.
242.When jazz running no longer reminds you of ballet.
243.When "armed guard" means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
244.When you see your section more than your family.  (or when your section IS your family!)
245.When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
246.When numbers past 8 just aren't important.
247.When you'd rather practice than read the list.
248. You have more bruises, scars, and injuries than a military solider
249. Your teacher makes you write on the board, "I will not spin in class" fifty times. 
250. You find yourself watching your spring show routine from freshman year thinking "was I ever that bad?"
251. Automatically you know what the captain is going to say and you do it before anyone else
252. Weekends are forever lost to practice
253. When you ask "What is summer vacation?"
254. When you stand at parade attention to say the pledge to the flag at school.
255. When you can do drop-spins at any tempo with ANYTHING
256. When you actually like to watch the Thankgiving day parade for the bands, not those stupid balloons.
257. When you can do splits in gurdles 

258. When you are rivles with all the chearleaders
259. The funny smell in the guard room in no longer noticeable to you
260. The only nail polish you wear in the winter is clear or none at all
261. When there is a possiblity it will snow, and your competition will be cancelled, you pray that it won't snow
262. When you spend all your money at competitions on guard shirts, boxers, etc. instead of food
263. You can mimick all the annoucers in your circuit
264. Have a dresser dedicated to guard unitards socks pantyhouse and silks (in my closet)
265. You go to the mall to try to find something new to make your rifle colorful
266. The Home Depot (Hardware store) is you favorite place to shop.
267. All your screen names have something to do with Color Guard.
268. You've eaten out more then anyone you know.
269. You anylize every song you hear for Winter Gaurd Standards.
270. You always have to find the perfect Drill Team song, and you go crazy when you finally find one.
271. Your boyfriend owns more Color Guard shirts then the store that sells them.
272. You own every cd that contains a song used at a Winter Guard show.
273. Your non-guard friends think you're crazy becuase you've always got songs that they've never heard of stuck in your head.
274. Your Boyfriend has a copy of your schedule hanging in his room. (

275. You've used the word "FRESHMAN!" more then a billion times.

276. You've reached the end of reading a list of 266 ways thatyou've been in colorguard too long.

Again, this is property of Atlee High School. You can visit their site here: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimranderson/guardways.htm